For Those Who Are Restless
Remember
Remember dear heart that feeling of first love
When you couldn’t keep a smile from spreading over your face,
As you walked across campus
Or watched the sun set
Remember dear heart
That giddiness of one hand offered to another
That warm touch of another
Laying side by side with only the moon watching
Remember dear heart
How he makes you feel
How the two of you grow closer together even though physically separated
And how you both seek God
While learning to know the other too
Remember dear heart
The touch of a tear rolling down a cheek
Because you couldn’t express the joy in any other way
Than salty liquid seeping from deep inside
And you didn’t bother to wipe it away
Because it was the only gift you could offer back
Remember dear heart
What it was like to love your God
Those moments of prayer
When you knew you were held close by your Creator himself
The joy of being His beloved and knowing it
Remember dear heart
The red glow of a sanctuary lamp
The silence of a Tabernacle
The ringing of bells
Remember dear heart! And I say again Remember!
For these things are not lost to you!
You will know that love again
And the giddiness of hand in hand.
You will be side-by-side again though the days seem long away!
These things are not lost to you! And I say again remember!
Tears of joy will seep forth again and once more
The sanctuary lamp with burn again, and once more
The silence will be inside again, and once more
And the bells will ring again, and once more
And so I say remember dear heart! Remember for these things are not lost to you!
Restless you are now, dear heart
And lonely and lost
You think you are forsaken, dear heart.
Remember.
Remember
And you will know you are not.
And now you can see things in the right light, yes?
These are lies you know. Call them out.
And in the face of restlessness and despair do not give up.
For I say to you remember.
Moses said to the people, “Remember this day on which you came out of Egypt, out of a house of slavery. For it was with a strong hand that the Lord brought you out from there. -Exodus 13:3
I am restless now, even seeking peace as I try to write these words. I think perhaps we all are, especially as this quarantine drags on for yet another week. We’ve lost count of the days, or perhaps we know the exact number. Restless of quarantine, of the monotony but also of the uncertainty. I know for myself, this feeling has been growing lately, causing me to lose hope quickly.
I miss the community of people gathering for Mass and the sacraments. I miss the regularity of work and leisure that past summers afforded. I miss my best friends I can only see via video call and my boyfriend many miles away. I miss what used to be "normal". And it makes me feel restless here.
In times like this, the church and her saints offer a plan. The eighth rule in the Ignatian Discernment of spirits reminds and challenges us:
“Let him who is in desolation labor to be in patience, which is contrary to the vexations which come to him: and let him think that he will soon be consoled, employing against the desolation the devices, as is said in the sixth Rule.”
Change yourself against the desolation, the sixth rule says, by prayers and perseverance, meditation and examination of self.
Make a list, mental of otherwise, of the beautiful things in life you want to remember.
And challenge yourself to remember these things when you are restless. Not to dwell only in those memories and forget the present entirely, but to take heart that consolation will come again. That rest will be found again.
Go check out the beautiful poem “The Pulley” by George Herbert (https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44370/the-pulley). There’s a reason you are restless. We are made for another world.
